Comfort Zones

The comfort zone of a person varies dramatically. But not only does it depend on the person whose zone you are talking about, but also the situation that the person is placed into. This can easily be shown by the example of showering. Everyone showers at home, but only a select amount have the courage, selfapproval, and/or the need to shower in a public shower room.

I had to take a 8 hour leadership training class immediately after 4 hours of band camp, because I was a section leader, last August. Over those eight hours, I learned a lot about myself, and about how to be a leader. The man presenting the program to us actively lectured about some obvious leadership traits: Being a rolemodel, helping others who need help, becoming everyone's friend, etc. He also talked about other traits that, over eight hours, he successfully argued were leadership traits. These include not being able to get embarassed and having a vast comfort zone. He reasoned that this large zone would help us be more outgoing and fun, but also that they would help us earn trust and respect.

At the end of that night, I made a rather childish goal for myself. I decided to drink a lot of caffiene the next day so that I could be hyper, and have more fun. I figured that this would help me earn the trust and respect of the kids in my section. I did have fun that week at band camp, though I forgot to drink my caffiene. I increased my comfort bubble considerably that night, and that week, and even still this year.

Just tonight, I had a fantastic time at my jazz band concert because of this speech. I have since largened my bubble to the point that I performed on stage wearing shining bright white slacks, a silky black shirt with the collar popped up to my ears, and a tie, as bright as the pants, that was knotted in such a way that the two flaps hung down in opposite directions, with the small on the left and the big on the right. I will admit that a couple of my friends wore plaid suit jackets, but this was still a great leap for me.

I feel that it is exceptionally easy for me, especially around noncritical friends. I imagine that it is harder for other people to do the things I like to do. I pity them, as they cannot live life to its fullest. But to advocate devilishly at myself, I suppose that they get a thrill out of much lesser things, things like buying an extravagent pair of shoes, even if they are never worn. To me, it will only get harder and harder to fulfill my need for thrill. In this way, I am like a drug addict. Either way, I think that these comfort zones need to be poked at until they eventually extend. The reason for this pordding is to experience what it feels like to live on the edge of your comfort, and feel the thrill. As Miley Cyrus says:

"Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah"

And since life is just a big mountain we must climb, we might as well try to have fun soing it!

Future Evaluation

Today and yesterday, I was in Irondale, Minnesota for a band competition. Over the course of these two days, I had a lot of time to think, and a lot of time to play, and a lot of time to talk to people. This weekend, I thoughtmore about my future than I have in a long time. Much of this pondering branched from shopping, and some came from talking to people.

There is this sophomore, who is a very outgoing and fun individual, who I lived around a lot this trip. I can't seem to grasp the question that I asked him from my memory, but I remember that he responded very negatively about his sister.

He claimed that she isn't polite to anybody other than her friends. He also said something that took me by suprise; he said that she didn't know what she wanted to do when she grew older. My immediate thought, based on the previous knowledge that they were a wealthy family, was that he had been thinking about his future a lot lately, and that his older sister, who is my age, either didn't care about her future yet or had no idea to base her future off of.

He was right; not planning ahead could result in a mediocre job and a mediocre life. Coming from a wealthy family, this would not be satisfactory to her or the family, who could then feel like they had to help her, and also possibly that they had failed at raising her.

To be fair, I also thought of her side. It seemed like the sophomore had his future planned out so that he could get a good education that would lead to a good job and lots of money. But what fun is that? I find myself loving the thrill of spontaneity at least once a week. I will be planning on going home to do homework, when all of a sudden I run into a friend who had a great idea. I quickly ditch the old plan and go play chess at chess club (true story). Now I don't think that the sophomore has no fun, because he is a very exciting person. I just think that he shouldn't be worrying about other people's futures so much. Even his vision for himself could change, after all.

All this happened in about ten seconds. After I quickly analysed what he said and played devil's advocate, I started to think about myself. Where would I go to college? What for? Am I planned enough? Should I be worrying about this now?

I want to go to one or two colleges: First for my undergraduate degree, and then law school. I read somewhere that undergraduates for law should take varied courses that interest them. I think that civil engineering is the coolest thing in the world. I especially love the power the water has and the power we have to control it. I also need critical reading and writing classes. I wil then go to a school that teaches law, whether it is the same school as the undergraduate, or a different one, I don't care. Lastly, I think that I am prepared for the time being: I know what I want to do, I am planning on taking my ACTs, and I am considering colleges.

A Self Evalutation

As I drove away from home today, I noticed that I had forgotten my retainers. I was just down the street, but since I don't have to wear them, I continued driving. For about a month, I have been required to wear my retainers only at night. Even so, I always wear them.

I am in a before school weight lifting class. All I have to do to get an A+ is write my name down on a sheet of paper and signify that I lifted for 30 minutes twice weekly. I go every day for about 45 minutes.

I don't know why I do extra. Even the miniscule act of wearing a retainer is given up by most people. Perhaps it is habit. I don't have to worry about my retainer or think whether or not I have to wake up early if I always do it. Also, getting to lifting early gets me a good parking spot; wearing my retainers keeps my teeth straight.

As I was writing about overacheiving in my first two paragraphs, you probably didn't think that I would be critisizing myself for thinking about myself too much. I suppose I don't consider these acts to be bad, but they are not at all selfless. I wonder if a selfless act is really acheivable. I certainly don't think I can do anything for the sole benefit of somebody else. Even community service makes me feel good.

I'll try to do something totally selfless today. I guess it's for me in a way, because I will be able to write about it, but I'll try to get close anyways.

Done Working

Well I think I got my previous problem resovled. I went to work today and worked for three hours, and then when I was done, the guy that hired me came and talked to me. He talked about how I only work like 6 hours a week sometimes and told me that the shop doesn't need me too much. He said it very nicely, of course, and afterwards told me to write a calandar with all the hours I could work this month. I decided that since I was kind of on the fence about quitting, and he was on the fence about firing me, I won't make a calandar. Tomorow I will work for 3 hours, and later I will get 6 hours of work directly deposited into my bank account (good thing I straightened my direct deposit last Saturday).

I feel weird. I don't feel sad that I lost my job. I'm not happy that I don't have to work anymore. I know that my dream of getting an old car and fixing it up this summer to make it work will not happen without a job. Maybe I could work again in the summer. I don't know if I want to work there again though.

I think that it is comical that I cannot work. All last summer, throughout the summer, I applied at any place that had employees. In a two block area, I applied at Taco Bell, Starbucks, Auto Zone, Subway, Arbys, Sonic, and probably a couple more that I cannot remember right now. Sonic, my friend told me, hires anyone that might acidentally drop their information at Sonic. I tried applying to be a janitor in a couple different places, which wouldn't have worked well at all with my schedule. The first day of school, Honda, a place that hires only full-time adults, gave me an interview and I got the job. Not only was I lucky to get the job, the location was great too. It was right across the street from my church and just down the street from my school. On top of that, I got to work with cars.

The job was just turning into a job, rather than a fun afterschool place to be, when I had doubts about it. I guess it has taught me things about cars and work environment.

I guess I will just keep on living and see what it feels like to not have a job again. Hopefully it's a nice, relaxing feeling.

Priority dilemma

I just talked to my parents about my priorities. This week I will work for 6 hours, down from 18 two weeks ago. I used to work Monday 3-8, Tuesday and Wednesday 3-6, and all day Saturday. Now I have band competitions on Saturdays. Monday and Wednesday are jazz band rehearsals, so I can work 3 hours Monday and nothing on Wednesdays. I'm still too busy for much work on Thursdays, but could squeeze a couple hours in if I felt really productive. Soon, a sport that I got good at this past summer, table tennis, is going to begin from 3-4 on a couple nights every week. My employer said that I could come in at 6 until 8 before school every morning because I come in at 6 on Saturdays, but I can't even do that. I get to school every day at 6:30 to lift weights. I am in 0 hour gym, but only have to go 2 days a week. I go Monday through Thursday. This helps me because I don't have to keep track of the days I lift, and it is easier to wake up at a constant time.

I get my homework mostly done in the couple hours between work/band and 10, when I go to bed. I also do some homework just before school starts, after gym. My free time is Sundays after 4pm. Of course, this is also when I do homework. But I am not complaining. I hate when people complain, though sometimes I do, or people think I am, which is just the same as actually doing it. I have fun being busy. I hate to do nothing for long periods of time, but sometimes I want to play video games or watch television for an hour.

Also, I feel bad. Whenever I tell my band director that I can't come to the unscheduled Monday night rehearsal, she understands, but doesn't seem to quite forgive me for the misdemeanor that I didn't actually commit. Also, when I tell my employer that I won't be working the 10 hours I was working last week, I don't feel like I'm giving my 100%. But I really am. Not in one area, but in life. I just figured out that as long as I give my life 100%, I don't have to work all the time or do band all the time. I am trying hard and it isn't my fault that I can't work more than 6 hours a week. If I get fired, I just have more time for other things.

But there is one more thing. I want a cool car. Right now I have a blue subcompact nerdmobile that my girlfriend describes as cute. I love it because it runs and gets me where I need to go reliably, but it isn't what I want. I remember my dad talking about a car show in Parkersburg where he used to live. He said it was fun to see all of the guys he grew up with bringing their old hotrods from highschool. Am I ever going to bring my Tercel to a car show? My dad used to buy cool cars from junkyards with a friend and fix them up so that they would work. That is exactly what I want to do. My parents aren't thrilled with the idea of a junk car in the driveway, but they aren't totally against it either. All I need is a little more convincing and money. Well I have a job....

A teen job is a job for money, and for stuff, for the teen's self. I planned to budget my money so that about 10-20% would go to a college fund, 10-20% would go to spending money (anything that I buy). The rest would go to another account for a car.

After school activities are for fun, but also to make parents proud. I could have fun staying at home all night long playing an online video game while talking to friends, or I could have fun marching in the band or bowling for free on the bowling team talking to friends. The difference is that my parents would try to get me to play a sport if I stayed home. I remember a cartoon that I saw a long time ago. It was called Codename: Kids Next Door, or something like that. There was this organized band of kids who faught againts the evils of adults while keeping a relative peace with their own parents. In one episode, two bad adults named "Mom" and "Dad" were kind of freezing all the kids in this worldwide group in a goupy gel kind of thing. The last survivor was the bad people's son. They told him that they did that so he could have more time to do things other than this group. He told them to unfreeze all the kids, but they wouldn't until he started calling his coaches and quitting all the activities he was in.

I could work a lot for myself and get a lot of money for myself to spend on myself, and I would get a nice car for myself. That would make me happy. Or I could play sports and stay busy at school and have a good resume for college. That would be good for me and make my parents happy, but where is my nice car?

I feel like I could do something for my parents and get nothing, or I could get a car by doing something just for myself. I tried to explain this to them but they started saying things like "we'll support you either way" and my mom started talking about being poor while young is a lot better than being poor while middle-aged. I feel like my employer is asking me to do them either a favor without getting paid or offering extra paid hours. I want to be nice and do the favor (especially if this is a long-time employer) but then I can't get those extra hours that I want.

I'll sleep on this.

Pretty Weather

I will do that movie post, but for now I am going back to my car.

Today I was climbing a hill in my car on 42nd street when a flashing light appeared in front of me. It was the brightest sun I had looked straight into in a long while. I could still see the road, but I noticed that I, as well as the other drivers, had slowed down below the speed limit (which doesn't happen too often). I looked to the side to try to see the road that I may or may not have been driving on, and I saw that I didn't drift into another lane. I also saw the tennis court filled with people. There was not one open spot. I noticed how much I wanted to play tennis, and justified my habit of keeping two tennis rackets in my trunk. But I couldn't stop to play, so I continued on.

Again I looked to the side of the street to see where I was, but this time I looked to the left side. Hovering over the trees and condos where some majestically pink and white palaces floating in the sky. They were not normal, in that they caught the light of the sun like an icicle. Rays entered into the thinly walled structure and snuck out as rays of mandarin orange. The sight was incredible. My only regret was that I had to keep looking down to see the road.

Another time that I couldn't take my eyes off the sky was a morning going to school. The sun was rising right in front of me as I was going to school. I knew that I wouldn't be able to see the whole portrait if I turned right on Edgewood, my normal route, so I didn't. Instead, I made a detour. The sky was lit by the sun that I couldn't quite see yet. The air coming into my front left window and out the back right was very refreshing. I remember thinking that this is not my normal half asleep drive to school.

There is something about nature that can make me feel refreshed no matter how I felt before. It is kind of like the occasional dill pickle that I eat right after waking up. Sometimes when I wake up in the morning, I feel like I am wasting precious sleeping time. I am, after all, waking up a whole hour earlier than I have to to be to school on time. Sometimes I get up and remember that something ecxiting will happen today. Usually I don't fully wake up until I'm in my car, when I feel the fresh air and see the mist like a blanket to fields of overgrown grass.

Movies

Since I love watching movies, I'll make a detailed review and dig into the plots of movies. Tonight I will look through movies I have to watch and review.

Manual

I didn't mention that my car has manual transmission. Since I did not pick this car, but it was given to me, I had no choice. I don't remember if I ever wanted a manual car before I got it, but I now know that I want my next car to have it. I like driving my car because it makes me feel original. Not everyone can drive one. I'm not saying it's hard, it is just something some people can't do. Also, I like driving it because it helps me pay attention. I can practically sleep when driving an automatic. Of course, it isn't the best looking car, so that is one big downside to driving it, but I have begun to change that.

The shifter used to be a pole sticking out of a peice of cloth with a boring blue-gray knob placed on top. I decided to change the worse of the two problems - the cloth. I went to Auto Zone and picked up a Shifter Boot. It is rubber and folds in and out and has a metal base. Also, I replaced the head of the shifter with one with a metal and leather combonation. It looked great, but the head had to be tightened about once a day. After a couple of months, I finally got annoyed to the point of getting a new head. But instead of buying another one that I would have to tighten every day, I made one.

I had two ideas for making a head. Both, I think, are fantastic. Since I love to play both baseball and table tennis, I decided to incorporate them. I could cut the handle off of a wooden baseball bat, or use the handle of a table tennis paddle. Since I recently broke a paddle, I used the handle idea.

First, I cut off the remaining area that is used to hit the ball with, so that only the handle remained. Then I put the handle into a clamp. So I wouldn't split the wood, I drilled a small hole. I then proceeded to bigger drill bits. Once I had a big enough hole, I attached the handle to the shifter. I then added some electrical tape around the bottom for security and it was finished.

My new shifter works great. Because the handle of the paddle was made for someone to hold, I think it was the perfect head for the shifter. I have shown it around to a couple friends who have all given their utmost approval. I feel crafty to have made something that I get to use every day.

Result

I ended up getting mad at my girlfriend, who was to be my passenger, immediately preceding the trip. I decided that going alone would let my mind wander, but would ultimately be a long, boring, pointless ride. So I let her go with me. It was a funny ride. It felt like a first date, though we were going to a gas station in another city and we had been dating for almost two years. It felt like she was trying to impress me, rather than to have a comfortable ride. I say this because she would ask me what music I wanted to listen to, and never once asked me for a drink of water, which she took in a second when I offered it. But I think she had a really good time. Perhaps trying to be extra nice to me made me in a better mood, and let both of us have a better time. We laughed and joked when we went down a mile road to a road closed sign (we passed right by the detour notice). She loved seeing the horses and cows. I loved seeing the landscape as we drove over a hill, and feeling the wind through my fingers as my hand hung out the window.

Eventually, after many wrong turns, we found ourselves in Central City. Just as Mr. Jensen said, it was the only place there. But I do not remember seeing as many toothless people as he had informed me of. Maybe it wasn't even the right place. It did, however, have cheese curds and cappicino. I got a large cappicino and a hamburger and an order of cheese curds to share with Alecia. It was fine. I could have gotten a better meal in a gas station in Cedar Rapids. But it was a wonderful first date, in a gas station in Central City.

We saw horses and cattle and a house boat on a trailer trying to squeeze through a construction zone. She smelled grass and cow pies and skunk (I had a stuffed nose, and normally cannot smell very effectively anyways). I got to hover over the gravel roads that are hidden in the maps. I was running from a giant snake made of dust and always managed to stay one step ahead of him. All the while I absorbed the music that was playing extremely loud to compinsate for the wind clapping on the car.

The trip was a great success. I discovered that even a trip to a gas station in the middle of nowhere can be a great time. Also, my car battery ought to be fully charged, and ready to go.

PreTrip

Later Today I will be departing on my roadtrip. I don't actually need to doi this to power my battery, but that's fine because I'm so excited! It is about 2 hours, I predict, and we will leave at 5. I want to leave this late because I have Phanic to play at either 2 or 3, so I don't want to miss any of that. I will be driving in a big loop, so that the trip isn't too short. This will give me time to make lots of mental notes so that I can talk about this trip tonight.

My ride/trip

I love to drive and I love cars, though I can't say I know too much about them. I have a 'hand me down' '91 Tercel that my aunt used to own. It is blue and has a bluish graying interior. The roof of the car's paint has deteriorated, leaving an odd lighter and less shiny look to it. Unfortunantly, it is a very small car and the top is very visible. Also, my aunt was sitting at a stoplight when a semi truck came around the corner too sharp and ran over the corner of the car. I believe that she backed up in a hurry, because the damage isn't very extensive. There is a sizable dent and the paint has been rubbed off. Incredibly, there is only one spot of rust, which is on the left windsheild wiper. I have only seen one other Tercel in my life. It was green, but looked very similar to mine. Maybe they don't usually last long. Mine, however, has broken 220 thousand miles as of a couple weeks ago.

I will be adding a significant amount to that number this weekend. A couple mornings ago, I got up at 6, like always, and went to gym at 6:30. As I was driving to school, I noticed that everyone had their lights on, even though one could see easily, but I turned mine on as well. When I got to school, I parked at a reasonably good spot, because people never want to back into their spot, but want to face outwards, so spots get left in the front. I backed in and checked to make sure I parked okay, then I got out of the car. I went to the trunk to get my bag, but I never saw my lights, that were still on. It was too light to see them. So I had my lights on the whole school day. After school I couldnt start my car, so I called a friend who might have jumper cable, but he told me to just talk to the shop teacher. I hurroed over there, lest I be late to work, and after some negotiation, he traded the wires for my phone. I got my car started with the help of a friend, then went to work. Later that night my dad told me that I need to recharge my battery. I asked if I could just leave it on, but he said the best way to do it is take a road trip. Now this was ironic because last summer my parents wouldn't let me go on a roadtrip. Of course this is different, because I wanted to go to Canada, but still a tad ironic. So I decided that since I am working Saturday, I will go Sunday after phanic. I didn't think about where to go until the next day, today actually.

In Physics, our teacher will teach for maybe 20 minutes, then let us work on a worksheet or read the book. This teaching works for me, because I get math type problems easily. Other people don't feel the same way about him. But since he only teaching for 20 minutes, he has a lot of time to digress. Today he was talking about acceleration, and then I dozed a little, then he was talking about a great sandwich in some town up north. Well, I thought, I need a place to go for my roadtrip. So I raised my hand and asked him where he was talking about, and how far away. He said it was in some town in Minnesota, so I dropped that idea. But as he saw my interest, he said there was a great convenience store that sells the best cheese curds and cappicino in the world. I asked where that was, and he said Center Point. I asked him how could I find it and he said that it's right there. Also, I would know I'm there because noone that works there has any teeth. So I decide where to go.

Then I planned the trip. I would go up highway 380 to Center Point, then go north on Center Point Rd, then east until I get to the town just north of Central City. I will then go and eat my cheese curds. Then I go south and west and I am back at my house!

Topics

I'm going to write about running, pingpong, being healthy, and the great game of phanic!